MEOW!! Greetings Hoomans. From the beginning of recorded Hiss-tory we the cats have been worshiped and rightly so. Let us Paws and reflect on why this is? In the ancient times, we decided to save you Hoomans's from starving to death by waging war on the pests that would eat your crops in the Pawsture. We were justly rewarded by the Egyptian Empurror who would sentence anyone who killed us to death. One time the Egyptians went to war with the Purrsians. During one of the battles, the Purrsian's Catpurrted us cats and released us onto the battlefield. The Egyptians loved us soo much they surrendered the battle so that no cat would be hurt.
We worked with Honest Abe Lincoln to free the slaves who were being Opurrested by Catfederates in the south. Honest Abe Lincoln was so Impurresed by our wisdom he invited us to eat at his formal dinners at the White House. Abe Lincoln even told his Catbinet that his Cat Dixie was smarter than all of them combined.
When the Nazis were attempting to take over the world we joined forces with Winston Churchill to stop them. Our War Time Advisor Cat Jock worked with Winston Churchill during his Wartime Cabinet meetings to stop the Nazis. Winston Churchill would refuse to eat his food unless his War Time Advisor cat Jock was by his side. Thanks in part to us cats Hitler and the Nazis were defeated.
As you Cat see we have saved you in Ancient Egypt from starving to death. We freed the slaves from the Catfederates with the help of Honest Abe Lincoln. We have our paws in with the Catholics. Did you ever wonder why there is a Cat in Catholics? We also worked with Winston Churchhill to stop the spread of the Nazis and saved many lives. It is unfortunate this is not taught in Modern Hiss-tory, but we have always been behind the scenes saving you Hoomans and we will always Catinue to do so.